So... after sending Bryna home and working all evening, picking Jess up at 10:30 we went to see MC Chris. It was at the Ottobar... which is a pretty tiny dive venue 2 or 3 minutes from our house, it's amazing they attract some of the acts they get. But we got there at 11:45 and MC Chris was just coming on... they didn't take credit so I had to run to the gas station across the street for the ATM. When I got back in I had missed 3/4 of Tussin, PISSED! But it was cool... he was a pretty funny guy... talked as much between songs as he actually rapped, made fun of Kingdom Hearts 2, Talked about a whole bunch of nerdy stuff. He finished the show with an encore where he let the audience pick the songs... Robot Dog, MC Chris Owns and Fett's Vette. Bought a shirt, a CD... got them both signed. Anyway, pretty excited cause next week RX Bandits are playing the Ottobar, should be a good time, it's nice having such a short drive home... if all the streets weren't one way we could probably make it in about a minute... sweet.

Lindsay gets home today.

Wow... heart-breaking, and I am starting to miss home now too.

Empty factories to the east and all our waste,
The shape of things that came shows on the broken worker's face.
To the west you'll find our silicon promised land
Where machines replace our minds for systematic profit plans.

The course of human progress staggers like a drunk,
Its steps are quick and heavy
And its mind is slow and blunt.
I look for optimism but I just don't know.
Its seeds are planted in a poison place where nothing grows.

It's 1989, stand up and take a look around
Weather's bitter tension it seems is sinking down.
Drunk with power and fighting one another
Every hour shows the winter getting harder.

There's a freeze up coming.

One nation stands the tallest radiating blinding light,
Plastic and fluorescent energy robbing us of sight.
Set in our way, content with our decay,
We wave the flag of freedom as we conquer and invade.

Ever ask yourself where's my place in this hell ?
But no one's there to tell you
'Cause they don't know that themselves.
The well rehearsed lined from our elated politicians
No longer offer solace,
We can see the self destruction.

Just one political song,
To drop into the list that stretches years and years long!
Static and division is increasing like a storm,
We are sheltered, we are forewarned.
Nothing can be changed except ourselves.



Wow 1989...

An animal rights group has called on one of the largest aquariums in the United States to stop serving fish to its visitors, likening the practice to grilling up "poodle burgers at a dog show."

"It's easy to think of fish as swimming vegetables but of all the places in the country where fish should get a fair shake it's an aquarium," said Karin Robertson, manager of the Fish Empathy Project for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Robertson sent a letter to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach, near Los Angeles, asking directors to take fish off the cafeteria lunch menu, adding: "Serving fish at an aquarium is like serving poodle burgers at a dog show."

She said that recent studies show that fish are surprisingly "intelligent, sensitive and interesting animals" and that the aquarium was contradicting that message by cooking them for lunch.

Jerry Schubel, aquarium president, said in a statement that the facility served only sustainable and environmentally friendly fish and was committed to educating the public about conserving ocean environments.




Hundreds of Peta supporting musicians are now in a serious quandry whether to call their new CD "Poodle Burgers at a Dog Show" or "Fish Aren't Swimming Vegetables". Save a Fish eat a Person for the Ethical Treatment of Animals instead.... I hear they're stringy and low in protein.

I think today started some sort of hunting season... I'm not really an outdoorsy sportsman type, so I don't get excited about deer season or duck season or whatever the heck brings out these shotgun wielding bumpkins. But you know what I could get up for? MULLET SEASON... I think there should be a season where I can carry around scissors and camp out in a trailer park and snip every mullet I see... It'd be like scalping only without the blood and only some of the violence. I think some violence would be necessary because I don't think your stereotypical white trash would let his mullet get sheared so easily. So for 11 months out of the year it can be "business up front, party out back" on your head... but for the month of November I think I should be allowed to go mullet hunting, you can't eat them... but maybe you could stuff a pillowcase.

On a second note GWAR is playing on the 12th of this month... that is awesome... For those of you who don't know who GWAR is... they're the band with the funky costumes and man eating plant on stage in "Empire Records" when Mark eats the marijuana brownies. I bet a mullet hunter could come back with quite a bounty after a GWAR concert.

The airplane that NASA Astronauts train in to simulate zero-g is called the "Vomit Comet"... that is the coolest thing ever!!!

It was from George W Bush's campaign... The title of the e-mail is "The 'W' Stands for Women" So yes this November everybody vote for "George Women Bush"

I can't imagine this helping his candidacy...

I've come to accept it... I am getting dumber... whether it's working at starbucks or just mentally rusting I know it's happening... I went through today and looked at old e-mails that I sent a girl that I liked from Kentucky... I was witty back then now my e-mails are all entitled "hey". Back then it was:

Greetings from the land of mittens and thumbs
Post Graduation Depression and the Teenage Wage Blues
Summer hooliganism and separation anxiety
Watching as the world is falling...
Pop Tart mornings and I can't believe it's not OJ
61,000 sardines in a can, 61,000 sardines (remember the annual meeting at the silverdome?)
Rip Van Winkle of the pioneer list
You can't eat good intentions...
Is that sarcasm I smell? No, it's imitation crab.
Punk Rawk Show and the death of the Hamburglarerer
Slide Trombones and Kid Rock Clones...
Skye vs the Chimichanga Round 2
Sleepy time in the land of short couches...
All work and no play makes Skye a disgruntled employee...
Sleazy car salesmen and the planet of the fat angry diabetic apes...

Maybe it's not that's I'm getting stupider just lazy... maybe in my adolescent awkwardness these were my attempts to be interesting I dunno...

All I know is I haven't written a decent song in a while, and I'm bored out of my mind... I've got one thing going for me right now and she's 500 miles away... Talk to ya later I'm gonna go punch something or sleep whatever is easier...

Seeing Ben Folds live makes me feel completely inadequate in my songwriting... So I went and looked up the John Lennon Songwriting Contest and read this years winner... It made me feel like Orpheus in comparison.

RULES: I want EVERYONE, no exceptions, who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want, but nothing stupid. Then I want you to go to your journal, you probably aren't even reading this, copy and paste this, allowing your friends (what friends?) (including myself) to ask you anything.

If you get a chance to download the song Stuart do it, it's hilarious.

You know what Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people here
in the trailer park. Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're fine people, good
Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and
Mindy on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They're
good fine people, Stuart. But they don't know what the queers are doing
to the soil.

You know that Johnny Werzner kid - the kid who delivers papers in the
neighborhood? He's a fine kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes
crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he
wanted was a burrow owl, just like his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow
owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live". So the guy
breaks down and buys him a burrow owl. Anyway at 10:30 the other night I
go out into my yard and there's the Werzner kid looking up in the tree. I
said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow
owl." I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a
burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they
call it a burrow owl, anyway?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that
is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago, the summer my oldest boy
Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year?
Well this year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said "Keep
your head and arms inside the mixer at all times." But Bill Jr., he was a
daredevil, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying, "Hey
everybody! Look at me, look at me!" POW! He was decapitated. They found
his head over by the snowcone concession. A few days after that, I open
up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And
it's addressed to Bill Jr. And it's entitled, "Do you know what the
queers are doing to our soil?"

Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big
underground homosexual population - Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example.
Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it, you
can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming.
But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers.
They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay
Martians. I swear to God.

You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here
in the trailer park.

Closer than flesh and bone,
You've got her waiting for you,
Forlorn and so alone,
When just a touch is still so far...

Away, The feeling that I'll fall flat on my...
Face, It's never hit me so hard.
I'm Ok, I live to breathe, I live for feeling...
Gray, When just a touch is still so far...
Away, When what I feel is my choice, I choose...
Pain, Pining, stretching, fighting Day by...
Day, Regretting all the tears I shed in...
Vain, When just a touch is still so far Away.

I was depressed this morning for the first time in recent memory... that sucks... dealing with it is different now... but everything will turn out fine... good things come to those who wait... I'm just tired of apparently never being good enough... don't forget me... cause I'll still be here waiting.

Other than that little outburst, today was A-OK... My grandpa came over which I have mixed feelings about... because he is a weirdo... but I like hearing him play piano... and it is a comfort to me that he is 80 years old and still has a full head of hair... But he came to his first memorial... I'm not sure how he reacted but it made my mom happy... that's nice.

I went out tonight with Scott and Mike Matthews and Joe Thompson and Bryan Lee after memorial it was good times, noodle salad, as usual.

Goodnight

Date:	2004-03-25 23:49
Subject:	Sooooooooooooo....
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted
Music:	Less Than Jake - The Science of Selling Yourself Short

How many times in your life do you have something you love doing... that for one second makes you forget all your misgivings and insecurities and for a moment you realize you do have something to offer in the world. How often do you lose something that was such a great outlet for pain and pent-up feelings. How do you deal with thousands of hours and thousands of dollars being wasted... just down the drain? There's no feeling like playing a song and the whole room seems to freeze, you continue playing thoughtlessly, effortlessly, concentrating fully on the crowd and you realize... they LOVE you... they relate to what your saying and appreciate what you are doing. I may NEVER have that feeling again... And it pisses me off and makes me want to cry...

I in effect kicked Jeremy out of Project Akimbo tonight... I didn't want to but have no choice... He won't play ANYTHING... and booking a single show is a constant struggle. Good for him for taking a stand and trying to be a man for the first time in his life... his heart's in the right place... And you should never feel sorry for making a decision for Jehovah...

But I feel I deserve some gratitude... Shame on the people who tell him, the band is a bad influence. Who was there when he was in the spiritual crapper? I was... Without the band giving him something positive to do he might not even be serving Jehovah right now... Without the band, he wouldn't have any of the friends he has right now. I irritated that his "confidential friends" will counsel him about playing shows, friends that never took an interest in him before he was pioneering, friends that never came to see us play EVER... I pushed him to pioneer for 2 1/2 years... listened patiently when every girl broke his heart, treated him like a brother... shared every crap experience that's happened to me, hoping that he might learn from my mistakes... WHERE WERE THEY????????????????

Nothing is ever ideal... the band situation hasn't been ideal since Zach left suddenly. I would love to be in an all witness band again... in fact it will probably happen... but it won't be the same... we'll probably still play ska-fest with Mustard Plug, and a few other shows.

I know everyone is going to come and try to chastise me for saying some of the things I said... but I'm sorry, that's how I feel. And you would feel the same way if you invested so much hard work, time and money into something.. and have people completely ignorant of what's going on actively try to destroy it... and the thing that sucks? Their intentions are noble... I can't be mad at their intentions, only their self-imposed ignorance.

I'm so freaking pissed at the world right now, I've forgotten all the fun and good times I've had... All I asked for was one more summer, a few more shows... I have to grow up completely after that... I'll be on my own soon and married soon after that... not that that scares me... I look forward to it... but how many people can look back on their youth and say they've done what I have... played shows with one of their favorite bands... get complimented by bands that have been playing for years, get a crowd of 600 people off their feet and in the air... dancing and cheering for you... and all the while pioneering continuously for for 5 1/2 years. Not many. I guess I should be grateful, it's been a blast... but I really wanted one more summer.




I've come to my senses,
That I've become senseless,
I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships,
Every last conviction, I smoked them all away,
I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self-esteems,

I'll sing along,
Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy

I could be an expert on co-dependency,
I could write the best book on underage tragedy,
I've been spending my time at the local liquor store,
I've been sleeping nightly on my best friends kitchen floor,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
I'm so over-dosed on apathy and burnt out on sympathy.

Let the meaning slip away
Lost my faith in another day,
Self deprication seems okay,
I never thought I'd make it anyway

Date:	2004-02-19 20:39
Subject:	Mmmm.... home
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	The Hippos - Asleep at the Wheel

So I am finally home... It was a long drive today... far longer in my mind than the drive to Maryland... I put 1,200 miles on my car this week.

I've been on the road so long that I'm gonna crack,
I've been on the road longer than Jack Kerouac.
I'm falling asleep, asleep at the wheel,
Should I be dreaming is this real?

So let's detail, my week...

Friday: much driving, Ate dinner with the Ashley's, Julius and Treyvon... Played basketball with Julius and Brother Ashley against some worldy dudes (Sucked it up, but still had fun)

Saturday: Service then sat at Jessica's Work, made twist tie dioramas (see previous post)

Sunday: Meeting, Trip to Morgantown WV, met Ryan, Climbed walls, ate wings played pool... Bryna and I ROCK!!!

Monday: Watched Bandits and Swing Kids, Parris stayed with me at Julius' apartment.

Tuesday: Missed Service... Went to bookstudy, Visited Jess at work, Watched American Idol and Trekkies, Played card lost to Jessica... KILL YOU!!!

Wednesday: went snowboarding with Jess, Bryna, Ryan, Tommy and Travis(I think that's his name)... broke my binding strap, Bryna sat around (sorry Bryna)Landed big tricks... also fell hitting head and scratching up face on snow. Drove back... finished Trekkies, Talked to Brother and Sister Ashley about stuff... sat in on family study... ordered pizza fell asleep on couch... drove to Julius', slept very well.

Thursday: Woke up, said goodbye to Julius, Drove to Ashley's, Said goodbye to Parris and Pat, Took Jessica to work and bank, went to lunch, got my cd's back... almost all of them... and left... and here I am...

Sigh... I'm relieved to be home, but a little sad.
I have to work tomorrow at 5:00 am... goodnight all.
Miss you Lindsay, see you when you get home.

Bryna... I was listening to Ben Folds on the way home and got that choked up feeling, miss you guys already, I had a lot of fun.

So we're sitting at Jessica's work bored out of our minds, when we get a great idea! A lot of newsworthy stuff happened in the past year and the world wouldn't be complete if we didn't do our own rendition of world affairs made out of silver and white twist-ties...



Roy of "Siegfreid and Roy" fame was mauled by their own white tiger.



The pope blessed a bunch of break dancers because he is either senile or trying really hard to be cool.



For some odd reason gays decide it is vitally important to be married... you know so they aren't like living in sin or anything.



Justin Timberlake (whom we all know is gay anyway) caused a "wardrobe malfunction" which incidentally exposed Janet Jackson's boob.



Sadaam Hussein was captured in his "spiderhole" by American soldiers, making the world a safer place... for a month or so.



We also did a model of Michael Jackson forcing wine on and seducing a young boy... this was deemed "Too Hot For The Internet" by Bryna.


Hope you all are having as much fun as we are... cause here in Frostburg fun grows on trees... except in the winter... then everyone is screwed... Goodnight y'all!

So... nobody cares but after 57 levels and like 1 1/4 hours I amassed an ungodly text twist score of 255,760 before the word urinary came up... gross.

How WHITE are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.

How BLACK are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.

And a few chicken nuggets and fries in the past 48 hours...


Buddhists believe that all living things are sacred because a worm or something could be like your grandmother reincarnated... What horrible things would one have to do to make the karmic step from Human to earthworm in one reincarnation? Geez, nobody's done anything that bad... I'm sure even Hitler would have at least made opposum or something.

When "I Love You" becomes a platitude, that's just sad.

Looking at past mistakes you can actually take comfort... know that no matter how bad your next mistake is, it will never compare to all the horrible ones you've made in the past... it's like a drop in a bucket. And This all makes it that much more amazing and wonderful when you finally do something right.

Victoria Secret commercial feel good thought of the day: "It's all you, only better." This is the tagline they come up for when selling a push-up bra??? Hey why don't we make women feel like crap...

Now I have to work... oh god, I'm going to die...